Ask These Questions When Your Animal is “Misbehaving”

Many people who want to have an animal communication session are looking for clarity on why their animal is behaving, or not behaving, in a certain way. Sometimes they want to know the why so they can tackle it from there and sometimes they just want it to be fixed and them to get the message from our conversation. Before we go any further, as an animal communicator I am not a trainer or dictator of animals. I do not have control over how they do or do not respond to the messages and requests that are given to them. I find many animals respond well to the requests and questions that are heart felt and come from a place of the guardian wanting the animal to have a better experience in life.

Throughout the many connections I have had with animals, I have found that when they are “misbehaving” it is usually linked to one, or more, of these questions. It is really important to know the answer to these questions in order to troubleshoot in the moment and create a loving and dynamic partnership between you two.

So, let’s jump into the list.

#1 - Do you know fulfills your animal? AND Are you providing that to them right now?

This is important because it feels that many people provide what they think their animal needs or what other people say that breed or species needs and never thinks to spend the time, energy and maybe money to understand what it is that truly fulfills their animal.

For example, not all labs are fulfilled through playing fetch or going swimming. Some are fulfilled with having a more dynamic job like search and rescue or therapy; while some may hate the water and instead enjoy going for hikes. Another example, not all horses want to be ridden - and not all horses want to be ridden in a certain way. Some want to just be a horse and interact with humans occasionally, some want to jump, some want to be super fancy and have all the pretty things and some want to spend their time in the mountains and trails.

So, step one is to truly understand what it is that your animal needs to be fulfilled. For my animals specifically, Ranger needs to be in nature - off leash with the freedom to explore and smell and weave on and off the path. Sadie needs to be outside as well - also off leash and living her best life exploring the world around her and getting into and up to God only knows. Jazz needs trail time and she needs to feel special, bonded and like she belongs. She needs plenty of time out of her enclosure walking around - one of her happiest places is on the trail. She is open to riding and it is a place where we have to build a lot of trust and rebuild a lot of confidence. Lastly, Ruby, haha well Ruby needs lots of friends and interaction at this point. She wants to play and explore and use her brain as much as her body.

So, what truly fulfills your animal(s)?

#2 - Are you thinking, saying or doing negative and / or destructive things to or about yourself?

Are you in the midst of a negative self talk spiral when your animal won’t stop barking, meowing or whiny-ing? Are you aimlessly scrolling through social media again when your animal can't stop whining? Are you using something to numb, TV, food, alcohol, drugs, etc., when your animal becomes super clingy?

I was surprised the first time I heard this from an animal in response to a question about why they bark at nothing.

Our animals are incredibly connected to us and even more so the more and more time we spend with them. They can feel our energy. They take on our energy a lot. So, it is not too surprising that they can tell when we are in the midst of doing something harmful to ourselves, even if it is not physically harmful or what society would consider harmful. Anytime you are having negative thoughts you are harming yourself.

So, if you find that your animal is being extra annoying for “no reason” - take a second to check in with yourself to see if YOU are the reason why they are being annoying. They are actually doing everything they can to get you back into a healthy and safe space. Thank them next time.

#3 - Do you provide your animal adequate stimulation / exercise for them?

Did you notice the end, for them. Again, each animal is unique and different. Not each animal will require the same amount of exercise or the same type of stimulation. It is your job as their guardian, steward and parent to take the time to understand who they truly are and what they need and want.

This question can definitely tie into question #1 - they may be very similar or the same and they might be completely different. It is your responsibility to know.

If you were to focus on dogs, not every dog is going to need the same amount of exercise to feel satisfied. I think it is also important to note, and understand, the basis of your animal - their species. Dogs are descendants from wolves and are scavengers at their core. They are wired to travel in order to obtain food. Now, we have domesticated them and have re-wired their bodies in a lot of ways. However, some things will remain and it is your job to understand what they are. Some dogs may need long trail runs in order to feel satisfied, while others may feel satisfied with a few walks around the block. Some may desire more mental stimulation, like puzzles, nose work, search and rescue and tug, over physical exercise. Some may desire both. You have to understand it for your own individual animals.

#4 - Do you spend quality undivided time with them?

When you are spending time with your animal, what does it look like? Are you watching TV while aimlessly petting them or they are laying over in the corner? Are you listening to music and podcasts while mucking their area? Are you scrolling on your phone while you are playing with them?

What kind of time do you spend with your animal family member? Is it connected? Or is it aimless and disconnected?

Do you count being in the same room and walking them with headphones in quality time? If you do, they likely do not.

When I ask animals what do they want their family to know or what do they want more of from their family - so many times the answer is quality time. They want to play with their family without their phones. They want to interact and be with them without any kind of distraction in the way. They want to spend time with you - and your heart. Are you willing to give them that?

And lastly…

#5 - Are you supporting their mental and emotional needs?

If you do not know what they are - then this is your time and opportunity to spend time with them to understand what they are.

Every animal has mental and emotional needs that need to be met in order to live a fulfilled and purpose-filled life. You may be meeting them unknowingly with the life you have already created with one another. However, if you are struggling with behaviors then this would be a question to take an honest look at.

Did you or your animal just go through a big move and need a little extra support emotionally right now? Are they grieving the loss of a friend or family member - whether the friend or family member is an animal or human? Are they incredibly bored and need to use their brain more?

Your animal is never being bad to be bad. There is always a reason. And the reason can definitely be that you have been disconnected as a parent and therefore they have taken on their own life and this is what suits them now. They have created their own rules because no one else gave them any. They have decided to do what is best for them and look out for them because it didn’t feel like anyone else was doing that for them.

Having an animal is the most beautiful thing in the world and it can be extremely triggering and eye opening. They are going to push you towards the life you are meant to be living. They are going to challenge you and they are going to celebrate and support you.

Are you willing to hear and see the painful and hard things in order to grow and to create an extremely beautiful relationship between you and your animal? Animals don’t always have sunshine-y words to say - they have the truth to say and they are going to say it in a way that feels good to them and ensures the point gets across.

Animals are the most beautiful thing in my life and have given so much to me. I am so thankful to each of my animals and the role they play in my life. I am grateful how they push me to be and do better and remind me how strong and capable I am. AND they give me permission to do life my way, our way, and not the norm or someone else’s way.

If you don’t know the answers to these questions and you want help - I would be honored to get to connect in with your animal and receive those messages and answers for you. Animal Communication Offerings.

So Much Love,

Emma J.